Saturday, May 7, 2011

Open House

Hello,
                My name is Wintermute and you have stumbled upon Dumbr. A blog for you, the people. I want to talk about one of the worst days of your life, Open House. That dreaded day when the parents are allowed to come sit in class and observe just how much you don’t know about teaching.

                You will be nervous, and why not, but I tell you now all you need to know to stay calm. The parents are not there to observe you, they really aren’t, they are there to observe their children.  No matter how poor you do they will be happy with you. But what this does mean is you damn well better make sure every single child gets a chance to speak at least once, because that parent will notice.

                Now I psyched my kids up like there was no tomorrow, I had them so excited and ready for their parents to come in, but as soon as they did guess what, they froze. This is common; kids get nervous just like you, to deal with it, I had to go to some major extremes of fake and happy. I mean the way I talked you think English cured world hunger.

                Your best solution is to keep yourself and the kids busy, time will just fly. So pick a project that will keep everyone pretty occupied.

                I did Volcanoes, simple and easy. Put a paper cup on top of a mini paper plate, pour in baking soda and wrap it all up with tin foil, then pop a little hole on top.  Then pass out little cups of vinegar and have the child pour it in, one at a time, takes up more time to watch each child do it individually.  Now I used food coloring as well, and then asked the kids what color is your volcano. Seems like a simple question? Yes, but remember these kids will freeze in front of their parents and will forget all the English they ever knew.

                Now you may think what if I screw up? Well let me tell you my story. I dressed up, business shirt, jacket, and tie. My room could barely fit 12 kids plus me, now the room has 12 kids, me, the teacher assistant, 2 managers, a hundred parents, grandparents, baby siblings, and the sort, and it was the middle of summer. It was freaking hot, I wasn’t sweating because I was nervous, I was sweating because I could hardly breathe. Sweat was literally pouring everywhere, even on the students. I was so embarrassed as I wiped my sweat off of kids foreheads and arms.

                However an hour after the class the parents came back and told me I did a great and wonderful job and they were very happy. So don’t worry, they will love you, just be happy and flow that wonderful magic out of your mouth. Tomorrow we start Holidays.

Your Teacher,
Wintermute

20 comments:

  1. Hello there! Loving your blog so much - I can really empathize with everything you're saying!

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  2. As a student, open house was the most terrifying thing EVER!

    "Oh god, is she going to tell my parents how god awful I am?"

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  3. Generally try and have every kid speak at least once every lesson. Gets rid of their stage fright and make sthem feel part of the group.
    I remember my french teacher never picked me. After a while I though: "If I never get asked, I just wont pay attention in class any more"
    ... now my french is horrible.

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  4. Argh when i talk with someones parents i can't stay calm. The always look at me with such a dangerous glimpse.

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  5. I know that feeling. as a student I never appreciated open house :)

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  6. D'awwww what a cute and gross story. lol
    As a student, I never liked open houses.

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  7. like the volcano idea, might have to try it with my own kid

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  8. Ive never liked open houses myself.

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  9. I remember this too, ya, its pretty hectic

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  10. I always hated the open houses at my schools.

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  11. When I was a kid in open house it sucked because teachers would talk crap about me lol

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  12. I did well in school so I didn't really mind these kinds of events.

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  13. I always pictured open house as one of the most stressful parts of that job. Sounds like it wasn't much of a sweat though.

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  14. very nice post. I never went to an open house if I could. so boring

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  15. I work at a community center as a camp counselor and I definitely feel pressure with parents around

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  16. I had two cismos and I can stolll see

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  17. open house is for grandmas i gess.. any way, i did fine in my school

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  18. I never had something like this at my school. but if i had i guess my parents would not have been very impressed ;p

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