Open House

Hello,

                My name is Wintermute and you have stumbled upon Dumbr. A blog for you, the people. I want to talk about one of the worst days of your life, Open House. That dreaded day when the parents are allowed to come sit in class and observe just how much you don’t know about teaching.

                You will be nervous, and why not, but I tell you now all you need to know to stay calm. The parents are not there to observe you, they really aren’t, they are there to observe their children.  No matter how poor you do they will be happy with you. But what this does mean is you damn well better make sure every single child gets a chance to speak at least once, because that parent will notice.

                Now I psyched my kids up like there was no tomorrow, I had them so excited and ready for their parents to come in, but as soon as they did guess what, they froze. This is common; kids get nervous just like you, to deal with it, I had to go to some major extremes of fake and happy. I mean the way I talked you think English cured world hunger.

                Your best solution is to keep yourself and the kids busy, time will just fly. So pick a project that will keep everyone pretty occupied.

                I did Volcanoes, simple and easy. Put a paper cup on top of a mini paper plate, pour in baking soda and wrap it all up with tin foil, then pop a little hole on top.  Then pass out little cups of vinegar and have the child pour it in, one at a time, takes up more time to watch each child do it individually.  Now I used food coloring as well, and then asked the kids what color is your volcano. Seems like a simple question? Yes, but remember these kids will freeze in front of their parents and will forget all the English they ever knew.

                Now you may think what if I screw up? Well let me tell you my story. I dressed up, business shirt, jacket, and tie. My room could barely fit 12 kids plus me, now the room has 12 kids, me, the teacher assistant, 2 managers, a hundred parents, grandparents, baby siblings, and the sort, and it was the middle of summer. It was freaking hot, I wasn’t sweating because I was nervous, I was sweating because I could hardly breathe. Sweat was literally pouring everywhere, even on the students. I was so embarrassed as I wiped my sweat off of kids foreheads and arms.

                However an hour after the class the parents came back and told me I did a great and wonderful job and they were very happy. So don’t worry, they will love you, just be happy and flow that wonderful magic out of your mouth. Tomorrow we start Holidays.

Your Teacher,

Wintermute