Open House

Hello,

                My name is Wintermute and you have stumbled upon Dumbr. A blog for you, the people. I want to talk about one of the worst days of your life, Open House. That dreaded day when the parents are allowed to come sit in class and observe just how much you don’t know about teaching.

                You will be nervous, and why not, but I tell you now all you need to know to stay calm. The parents are not there to observe you, they really aren’t, they are there to observe their children.  No matter how poor you do they will be happy with you. But what this does mean is you damn well better make sure every single child gets a chance to speak at least once, because that parent will notice.

                Now I psyched my kids up like there was no tomorrow, I had them so excited and ready for their parents to come in, but as soon as they did guess what, they froze. This is common; kids get nervous just like you, to deal with it, I had to go to some major extremes of fake and happy. I mean the way I talked you think English cured world hunger.

                Your best solution is to keep yourself and the kids busy, time will just fly. So pick a project that will keep everyone pretty occupied.

                I did Volcanoes, simple and easy. Put a paper cup on top of a mini paper plate, pour in baking soda and wrap it all up with tin foil, then pop a little hole on top.  Then pass out little cups of vinegar and have the child pour it in, one at a time, takes up more time to watch each child do it individually.  Now I used food coloring as well, and then asked the kids what color is your volcano. Seems like a simple question? Yes, but remember these kids will freeze in front of their parents and will forget all the English they ever knew.

                Now you may think what if I screw up? Well let me tell you my story. I dressed up, business shirt, jacket, and tie. My room could barely fit 12 kids plus me, now the room has 12 kids, me, the teacher assistant, 2 managers, a hundred parents, grandparents, baby siblings, and the sort, and it was the middle of summer. It was freaking hot, I wasn’t sweating because I was nervous, I was sweating because I could hardly breathe. Sweat was literally pouring everywhere, even on the students. I was so embarrassed as I wiped my sweat off of kids foreheads and arms.

                However an hour after the class the parents came back and told me I did a great and wonderful job and they were very happy. So don’t worry, they will love you, just be happy and flow that wonderful magic out of your mouth. Tomorrow we start Holidays.

Your Teacher,

Wintermute

Events (Story Book)

Hello,

                Wintermute here bringing you your seasonal scoop of Smartr. Naw, I’m just kidding, what if this site was called Smartr, would you still come? This is Dumbr in the Classroom and we have been learning about Event ideas for your students. Here is one of my all time favorites that can be done with any age group.

                O: Each class will write a story, just one story, the same story. However each class will be responsible for a separate part of the story. Meaning: Class 1 will provide the intro, when they are finished they will pass the story off to the next class. They read it, then class 2 provides the middle, pass it off and class 3 ends it. Of course if you have more classes (which you will) you can separate it into more parts. Or just simply write separate stories.

                O: You should write/type the story on a large A4 piece of paper. Make it pretty, and throw it up on the wall outside your class for all to read. When every class is finished each student can go through the hall and chronologically read the story in order from start to finish.

               O: I don’t think I have to tell you but this is a wonderful way to get your kids speaking in only English and has them working with other classes to make one final project. And being able to see their work on the walls of the school will make them more than proud. It doesn’t have to be done in one day, or week for that matter, you can pace it out so other teachers can work it in their schedule as well.

               O: Truth be told, this is how some Final Fantasy games are written.  One Author will write the beginning, and then another does the middle, so on and so forth until you have a convoluted adventure through space and time with a random nonsensical final boss that was never mentioned anywhere else in the story (Looking at you Zeromus).

                That ends our segment on Dumbr Events, the next Segment is Korean Holidays and how they greatly affect your classroom. We will start that on Sunday, but to end the week, tomorrow we will discuss the most treaded day of a teachers life, “Open House”. Be prepared.

Your Final Fantasy Fan,

Wintermute

Events (Pajama Party)

Hello,

                Wintermute here bringing you your daily does of Dumbr. Tonight we talk about every child’s dream, a slumber party at school with friends. The best part about throwing a pajama party for your students is it forces your employer to pay you over-time. ;)

                First you will have to decide what your students will be doing; this event will be set up much like the Fair we discussed earlier. Each Class will be a different stage for the kids to venture to. However this time around the kids won’t be involved in the planning process, they are there to have some fun. Here are some ideas:

1.       Bowling: Get some 2 liter bottles, fill them up a quarter of the way with water (not all the way or they won’t fall), tip the desk to make a lane and have the kids play.

2.       Team Games: play some games with all of the classes to promote team work, such as passing a ball behind you first over then under then over until the end of the line.

3.       Team Contest: Make a team with each individual Class, have the team come up with a name and then have them design a banner, and last make a team cheer. All the classes will go to the gym and present their banner and cheer. I’m not too hip on this one, but the kids love it.

4.       Anything really, just make sure it’s fun.

Pick a Friday to have all of your students return to the school around 6:30. Tell your kids to wear pajamas and bring sleeping bags. When they arrive have them drop their stuff off. Let them play the games for however long, after a while though serve them some dinner. Something easy like fried chicken, because who doesn’t like fried chicken?

Then have them get their sleeping bags and head to the gym, turn down the lights nice a dim, get a female teacher and have her read them a story. Hopefully they will all fall asleep. None will however, but rest assured the parents are well on their way and ready to pick their sugar high kids up.

Have fun, enjoy yourself, and stay Dumbr. Be sure to comment and ask questions. Tomorrow, Story Book!

Your seonsaengnim, (pronounced song-say-ee, or teacher in Korean)

Wintermute

Events (Fair)

Hello,

                In the school educational system, the students are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: good teachers who do well and bad teachers who serve little to no purpose. These are their stories. CHUNG CHUNG!

                Naw, I’m just kidding, Wintermute here bringing you your daily dose of Dumbr. Today we will discuss how to manage a mini fair for your students. Basically each class will be responsible for one separate event. If you have a lot of classrooms at your school you may have to get creative. Each class will take turns going around to each other class and participating in the event that class set up.

Stores: We had two stores, a book store (books were brought in by parents) and a toy store (same deal). We set the classrooms up to look like a store with a fake cash register and everything. We even made fake money for them to pass out and buy stuff.

            Arts a Crafts Shop: A place for the kids to go to make wallets/purses to hold their fake 

            money in.

            Drama: Have the kids pay admittance to a theatrical Drama presented by the students.

Gym: Turn the gym into some kind of game they can play, preferably one they haven’t ever played before. Fairs usually see things like Darts, or Horseshoes, think about stuff along those lines. 

Cooking: I’d say have some kind of cooking class, but save it as a last resort. Make sure it’s cheap and easy.

                Be sure to have your kids get very involved. Have them decorate the class and make banners to post up on the walls advertizing their little soiree. This is a good event that will have them practicing their English as they go up to buy something or during the planning process.

                I have full faith and confidence you will do well. As always ask questions and post oyur comments. Tomorrow we talk about Pajama parties, so bring your favorite bedtime story and a glass of water, we’re sleeping Dumbr style.

Your Carny,

Wintermute

Events (Quiz Bowl)

Hello,

                Wintermute here bringing you your daily dose of Dumbr in the classroom. I hope you are ready for our lesson today where we will talk all about how to run a Quiz Bowl for your students.

                Contestants- You need students to compete but obviously you can’t have them all up on stage at once against the entire school. So each class needs to decide on who they will send up. I find it best to hold a mini quiz bowl in class. Draw a bracket on your board and have two kids compete against one another for ultimate fame and glory. Winner moves up, loser needs to study more, do this until you are left with one student.

                Questions- it would be smart of you to make sure that every student is given a fair chance as I’m sure not every class teaches the exact same thing at all times. So come up with a list of questions prior to the main event, be sure to only include questions that relate to all of the classes.

                Set up – If at all possible, get buzzers, microphones, and a big board to display scores. If however you are not as devoted to theatrics as I am then so be it.

                Prepare your Gladiator – Depending on how many classes are at your school, your valiant warrior may stand a slim chance at success. So have a talk with them before hand, let them know that no matter how horrible they do its okay. Be rough and funny. This step is very important otherwise I would not mention it. When I ran the QB apparently the other teachers did not prep their students, here is what happened:  

               Kindergarten QB – 2 children on the floor bawling in defeat. 

               Elementary QB – a child filled with the utmost rage made it well known to the school he                was not happy.

               Middle School QB – one kid was wearing a hoodie, he sunk deep into his hoodie and

               threw his head to the table, and stayed there on stage for a good ten minutes. 

              You may not notice prior to the event, but your students actually do care about this a lot, they do not want to lose. Some kids invite their parents, I discourage this obviously.   Don’t put more pressure on them then there needs to be, they will do better.

              That’s about it; I wish you the best of luck and hope your own Quiz Bowl goes well. Of course please comment and ask questions, I can't get enough of them. Tomorrow we talk about a mini fair that can be run in your school by your students.

Your Event Planner,

Wintermute

 

Events (Speech Contest)

Hello,

                Wintermute here with your daily dose of Dumbr. Yesterday we started our new segment "Events”, today we will discuss one of my favorite events, the Speech Contest.

O: I feel their speech should be short; it’s not about how much they can read off a piece of paper, but rather how well they perform in front of others.

            O: When I have my students go up I do not allow them to read from anything and instead have them give a self introduction. An example would be: “Hello my name is Wintermute, I am 23 years old, and I go to The Dumbr School of Education. I enjoy writing meaningful blogs to help educate the masses who think it smart to become a teacher with no prior teaching experience. “

O:  A simple and short quick self introduction and maybe a hobby.  Things to check for while the students are performing would be, clarity, pronunciation, flow, attitude, and of course comprehension.  If you trained your students well, they should be able to jump up, run on stage, and yell out their speech with pride and honor in their prepubescent voice.  If however you didn't, your student will deny standing up, refuse to go on stage, and pause in front of their peers.

            O: To prevent this, practice in class, I practiced with my students every day, having them talk about their work in front of the class. Also I would do show and tell every Friday. When the time came to perform in front of the whole school my students were smiling and carrying on a conversation with themselves.

O: When other classes went up, they brought up pieces of paper; you could not hear them nor see their faces. Let me ask you something. When your student goes outside in the real world to talk to other people, is he/she going to have a piece of paper to stare from?

            O: As they get better you can of course get more involved and sound less robotic. Have them bring up artwork to talk about, or ask them what planet they would like to live on and why. I had two classes that loved T.V., so I would ask them things like what Pokemon or Power Ranger they would be.

                Thank you all for being here, please ask questions, I love them and will answer them. Be sure to come back tomorrow, where we will discuss how to run a Dumbr Quiz Bowl.

Your Event Planner,

Wintermute